Corona Diaries: When I Wasn't a Clueless Mom

Almost every tchotchke in my house has a story.

Here is one of those tchotckes and this is its story.

We were out shopping in a pseudo-fancy store selecting fancy cheeses, meats, crackers and fruit for a New Year's charcuterie board. I grabbed some kind of goat cheese in the round and clumsily bumped the one next to it.

It rolled and rolled.

I laughed and a told my daughter to catch it before it got too far away, even as a another customer nearly crossed its path. I kept laughing as my eyes met with his. His gaze had an icy, somber and hostile demeanor that told me I, nor my daughter didn't belong at the pseudo-fancy discount store. I steeled myself and kept laughing almost out of spite as much as I laughed at the site of my kid racing the cheese wheel.

She caught it and returned it to its place.

That was 2016. A little over a month after the election.

My daughter knew something was off, so realizing she'd follow my lead, I suppressed my eye-roll and shrugged it off. We kept on and strolled into the wine aisle. I figured a few bottles would be appropriate for a New Year's toast.

Mom, why do people ask you things?

HUH?

Like, people always come up to you and ask you things. A lot. Especially about wine.

So I'm an expert wino now?

It may seem like that to you, but people don't ask me about things.

She'd clearly been hallucinating.

No sooner than the phrase left my lips, an elderly shopper said EXCUSE ME. WHAT KIND OF WINE DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD HAVE WITH FISH?

My daughter's face signaled an I TOLD YOU SO.

The truth is that I seriously don't know about what wines go with what. So I winged it. I told her as much as while suggesting a pinot grigio if she liked dry and fruity. She left with a bottle and a Thank you, honey while I wondered if my kid set the whole thing up.

Maybe it's because you look like a cool, artsy hippie person or something. I mean, look at your hat and your sweater. It's kind of a cool look, mom.

I blinked, confused and thankful that she thought her mom was a cool, artsy hippie in that moment, realizing that in the next moment, I could be the clueless mom.

Two years later, she gifted me this memento.
I still don't know anything about wine, though..

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