Nearly twenty years ago, I climbed aboard the city bus I
always took to get home. I said hello to the driver and smiled at a lady sitting
across the aisle. As the ride continued, I could feel her eyes on me. Staring.
Here I was on the brink of 30 years-old, but someone knew that
I was The Babygirl from long ago. She was a long-time church member who I didn’t
recognize or know.
She began to tell me about my grandparents, my
great-grandparents, my only cousin and an aunt and an uncle – all of whom
passed long before I was born. The bus rattled on, and I sat open-mouthed as
she then told the story of my siblings and me being born.
…and that oldest boy,
Geneva nearly missed the Christmas program having him. She went on about my
sister’s birth, then my other brother and finally me. …we didn’t even know Geneva was pregnant, and one day she came to
church with a baby. That was you.
Past generations told stories face-to-face or
experienced them from the sidelines like my bus friend. Nothing about anything I had done hopping on the
bus that day earned her endearment; her smile and genuine warmth toward me was purely because she knew my story.
I thought of this as I remembered walking in an auditorium
yesterday as a fresh-faced young man held open door. I loved him right
away and wanted to hug him because I knew his story.
He’s my friend’s son, and I had never met him before, but I
knew him through my friend’s stories and from social media pics (albeit few) of
him, as well as his sister. Which is why I had to hold myself back from
instinctively hugging him. That would’ve just been creepy.
I felt like what I
imagine my bus friend from twenty years ago must have felt when I politely smiled at her from across the aisle.
The irony of it all is that this happened yesterday at
Milwaukee’s Listen To Your Mother Show, a nationwide series of shows that give
a microphone, a spotlight and a stage to moms and non-moms who tell stories of
their motherhood journey.
Photo credit: K. Miller |
We felt the
freedom that goes with telling our personal story and having it be heard, and
the opportunity to be known – not defined by -- our occupation, or to whom we're married or if we're married at all.
But I’d like to think yesterday’s storytelling even went
beyond that. It fell on ears of people who will know our children through us
and love them because of the stories we shared.
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