Corona Diaries: Call Me Gladys

 After fourteen months of working from home, I’m convinced that the biggest perk is the view.

 My “office” is situated on a hill, so I can see everything and everyone, but they can’t see me see them.

Remember Gladys Kravits, the nosy neighbor on Bewitched who made it her business to surveil everything that everyone was doing from her front window?

Thanks to COVID and working from home, I am Gladys Kravitz now.

As the Neighborhood Gladys, I’ve seen things. Things I would’ve missed on my way hurrying out the door in a game of beat the clock. Things I would’ve missed at the office.

Like, The Squirrel Community.

Yeah, they’re all adorable, but the let me tell you: the Squirrel Community is rife with inequity and bullying. Ever hear a squirrel growl? I have. It happened during that little chase game you might’ve seen and liltingly laughed at. 

But it’s no game, it is WAR. Bully Squirrel (that’s what I call him) chases and growls at little guys daily.

He may be cute, but he’s not innocent.

Because I am the Neighborhood Gladys, I notified my across the street neighbor about Bully Squirrel and his antics. She thought I was a little bit loopy but nothing out of the ordinary (for me at least). BUT (and it’s a big but) we chatted the other day and she was like “OMG, I saw Bully Squirrel and he’s absolutely awful!”

I nodded knowingly.

Then there are The Crows – or more appropriately and accurately, there’s a MURDER OF CROWS. They talk, they plot, they plan. I’ve heard them; and, while I don’t know the crow language, but they are definitely up to something.

Every morning around 10:00, there’s one about the size of a toddler on a tricycle that STRUTS down the middle of the sidewalk in front my office window.

Not actual footage, but pretty darned close.

Anyhoo, I stepped out on the porch to see one of them treading air like one treads water in front of my neighbor’s picture window. It was horrifying. But it didn’t end there. He starts screeching and his friends pop over and land on my neighbor’s car.

ON. THEIR. CAR.

THEIR CAR, Y’ALL!!!!

Met up with my neighbor who knows the horror of Bully Squirrel and was like But what is going on with these crows? She said I KNOW. WHAT IS GOING ON? We looked up, scanned the trees, resumed our conversation in hushed tones and then tip-toed back to the safety of our homes.

Later, she texted this

Bottom line is that I like these work from home perks.

Even if they scare me a little.