Skip to main content

A Tale of Two Guys

I watched Tyler Perry's "Daddy's Little Girls" last night. Or at least some of it. But what I saw hit me pretty hard. From what I could surmise, the story revolves around a single dad with sole custody of his daughters. He loses custody (kids were playing with matches) to his ex-wife, who's far from the ideal mom.

The dad character is a hard-working guy. He's smart, truly loves his girls and is pretty easy on the eyes. In other words, he reminded me of Jamie -- except Jamie's not black and I'm not an evil ex-wife. Throughout the movie, the dad hits different walls, including romantically. At first, his love interest - a high-powered attorney who's also black -- wants nothing to do with him because she's got preconceived stereotypes about black men from "the hood": bad credit; Baby Daddies'; lazy; ex-cons...and pretty much whatever else you see black artists doing on hip-hop videos.

She tells him all that, pretty much verbatim, and it was harsh. A verbal castration, really.

Then I thought about my brother - who is pretty much like the dad in the story (except for the kids and evil ex-wife). Who in turn, is very much like my husband. They're two hard-working, non-college-educated guys. But I guess that's where the similarities end. If you put my husband in a suit, outside of looking hot, someone could look at him and assume that he's a college educated office guy. Same suit on my brother: bad credit; Baby Daddy; lazy; excon.

Growing up, we were taught that we'd have some humps to overcome when it came to race -- it just went with the territory of living in the skin we're in. We also knew that the humps weren't any excuse to not live up to our God-given potential; so as kids, we weren't suprised with the DWB Stops (Driving While Black) in the suburban parts of Milwaukee; learned to laugh off the department store detectives who followed us as soon as we entered and even at the people who decided we'd understand them better if they "talked black" to us.

But even with that attitude, even with our educations and ability to be "articulate", I know that these two guys who I love so much, and who are so alike, are living very different lives.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

What 6 Christmas Songs Got Wrong

After Thanksgiving, a birthday party last week, another birthday party this week and Christmas coming up next week, I am officially overwhelmed. It'd take more time than I have to explain what yet needs to be done and if you're like me, you're probably overwhelmed and don't have the time nor inclination to read it all anyway. But even with an overflowing plate, I still love the Christmas season -- from setting up the Christmas tree that we got two weeks ago and decorated only yesterday, to lighting bayberry scented candles, to every Rankin & Bass Christmas Special, and the music. Oh, the music. Songs have a way of putting you in the Christmas spirit, warming your heart and next thing you know, you're hugging a stranger in the elevator. Okay, um...maybe that's just me. But alas, all songs are not created equal; and the following Christmas songs inspire and awaken anything but peace on earth and goodwill to men. 1. Christmas Shoes : This song makes my

Racism & Prejudice: Brothas from a Different Mother

Next week I’m attending  a seminar on defining racism. Should be interesting because: 1) I’ve been living in the skin I’m in for nearly 43 years and I’d like to hear about any advancements on the topic; and 2) back in college, some class I took defined racism as movement, advancement or otherwise being prevented and/or restricted based upon race .  Embedded in the definition was that racism took two parties – someone in power (the racist) and someone whose rights were being violated. So according to that definition, racism is an action , not an attitude . One is a disabling trespass while the other is prejudice . I tend to agree. It’s my belief that Martin Luther King and the thousands of civil rights fighters stood up against racism . They stood up against actions that prevented people from the pursuit of happiness – whether that meant voting, drinking from a common bubbler, or not ending up as Strange Fruit on a Poplar tree when all they wanted to do was get from P

The Occasional Car

There's nothing special about our neighborhood. No quaint cul de sacs. Just streets that run north to south, sandwiched in between two busy avenues. It's a throwback place -- a hub of post-WWII homes and tree-lined streets whose limbs form a sort of cathedral ceiling. It's a silent night neighborhood . After dark, outside of a few who power-walk dogs begging them to go potty or poop and the occasional car slowly driving north or south, everyone's inside at nighttime. At midnight, Jamie and I were driving that occasional car, returning from a date night while Georgia was at a sleepover. The sky was clear, snowflakes sprinkled past the streetlamps and the streets and sidewalks were empty. Modern Love came on the radio as we began making the slight ascent to our block. We sang along and I knew we'd have to abandon it and our singing by the time we parked. We reached a stop sign at the top of the hill, and Jamie checked for any occasional westbound or eastbo